The Science of Touch: Why Intentional, Present Touch Heals
Touch has always been one of my greatest teachers. I think back to the moments in my life when I felt most safe—getting back tickles from my mom, cuddling in bed with my parents in the mornings, feeling the sun warm my skin on a cold day, receiving a long, unhurried hug from my partner when I was feeling overwhelmed. These small moments remind me how much our bodies crave connection—not just with others, but with ourselves.
I was disconnected from my body for so many years, that it’s a very easy pattern for me to slip back into. It’s a constant remembering what it feels like to be in. my body, instead of thinking over feeling and pushing through instead of slowing down. It wasn’t until I began working with plant medicines (which got me deeply present), developing my own embodiment practices (got me deeply in my body), then beginning to learn how to give bodywork (being both deeply present, in my body and attuned to another)—that I truly understood the power of intentional, present touch. Not just as a luxury, but as a language—one that speaks directly to the nervous system and reminds us that we are safe.
The Nervous System & Touch: A Deep Connection
Our nervous system is constantly scanning for cues of safety or danger, a process called neuroception. When we experience stress or trauma, our body can get stuck in a heightened state—either hyper-alert (fight-or-flight) or shut down (freeze).
I know this feeling well. After big transitions or emotionally heavy moments, my body often tightens, my breath shortens, and I feel like I can’t fully land in myself. For a long time, I thought the only way to get through these moments was to think my way out of them—analyze, problem-solve, do. But the truth is, my nervous system didn’t need more thinking. It needed safety. It needed touch.
This is where the vagus nerve comes in. As the main player in our parasympathetic nervous system (our “rest and digest” state), the vagus nerve responds deeply to slow, rhythmic, and attuned touch. Studies show that C-tactile afferent nerves—a special type of nerve fiber—are specifically tuned to respond to gentle, nurturing touch. These fibers communicate directly with the emotional centers of the brain, releasing oxytocin (the "bonding hormone"), lowering cortisol (the stress hormone), and increasing feelings of safety and connection.
This means that when we receive—or offer ourselves—intentional touch, our body is biologically wired to relax.
Why Presence in Touch Matters
Not all touch is the same. We’ve all experienced the difference between a hurried, absentminded touch and one that is present, grounded, and intentional. The body can sense the difference.
I see this working on people a lot. When someone gets on the table, they’re often holding so much—stress, grief, unspoken emotions, layers of tension they didn’t even realize were there. But the moment they feel truly met—not just with my hands, but with presence—their body starts to let go. The breath deepens, the muscles soften, and something shifts.
This is why intuitive bodywork is so much more than physical relief—it’s a conversation between practitioner and client, between body and nervous system. And it’s a conversation we can have with ourselves, too.
Self-Touch for Nervous System Regulation
There have been so many moments where I’ve felt activated—overwhelmed, anxious, stuck in my head—and wished someone could come in and soothe my system. But I’ve also learned that I can offer this to myself. We all can.
Here are a few simple ways to use touch to calm your nervous system when you’re feeling activated:
Hand Over Heart & Belly: Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Feel the warmth of your hands, the rise and fall of your breath. This signals safety to your nervous system.
Grounding Touch: Place both hands on your thighs and press gently. This can help you feel anchored in the present moment.
Cupping Your Own Face or Neck: Hold your face in your hands or gently place a hand on the back of your neck. This can create an immediate sense of self-soothing.
Cross-Body Hold: Place your right hand under your left armpit and your left hand over your right bicep—almost like giving yourself a hug. This position helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promotes calm.
Slow, Gentle Strokes: Run your hands slowly down your arms, legs, or chest. Move with intention, as if offering yourself kindness through touch.
Even just 30 seconds of self-touch can help shift the nervous system toward regulation. The key is to move slowly, with presence, and without judgment.
Returning to the Body
Many of us go through life feeling disconnected from our bodies, whether due to stress, trauma, or simply the fast pace of modern life. But healing isn’t something we have to think our way through. It’s something we can feel—in the quiet moments of connection, in the warmth of our own hands, in the breath that reminds us we are here.
So the next time you feel yourself disconnecting, pause. Place a hand over your heart, feel the support beneath you, and let yourself land. Your body is always here, waiting for you to come home.
